I would like to tell you how I’m still alive. It happened a long time ago.
It all happened when I was at school. I was in class by myself because it was inset day. The bell rang and I was walking to art ,when I heard a beeping sound. Every second it got faster. I tried to remember were I have heard that sound before. Then it happened!…
When I woke up I was on the floor with bricks all over me.I got up and continued going to art. I got to art, there was no kids and no teacher.
I heard a growl first thing that poped up in my head was a pack of wolves coming to kill me. It was not a pack of wolves it was tall and it was walking on two feet. The next thing that poped into my head was a swamp creature. It was not that as well. Oh no! If there is one then that means there are hundreds in the school.
I looked for some thing to defend myself with. In a draw I found a few guns, I was so happy. Now I could defend myself. I thought to myself ” I should build my self a shelter so the zombies cant get to me.” Then the gun shoots began. After a while I realized that the zombies had guns and they began to shoot back at me .
I thought that this was the end of me. Then I realized that there was a window so I jumped for my life. When I landed on the floor I started to build a mini house. After I started to dig. Then there it was the portal where the zombies come from. I decided to smash it.
The End
June 14, 2016 at 2:25 pm
There are some interesting ideas in this piece of writing, and I like how you have tried hard to create an example of the genre. Especially in the second paragraph you build the sense of tension well.
You could definitely try and make use of metaphors and similes to boost your grade:
http://achieve.community.edutronic.net/stage-one-writing/boost/
Perfect paragraph unlocked for this one:
” I heard a growl first thing that poped up in my head was a pack of wolves coming to kill me. It was not a pack of wolves it was tall and it was walking on two feet. The next thing that poped into my head was a swamp creature. It was not that as well. Oh no! If there is one then that means there are hundreds in the school.”
June 15, 2016 at 10:08 am
Thank you sir